I'm sure some of it can be attributed to the time of year. The expectations and excitement that used to consume me this time of year have been replaced with reality. Maybe I have no yet accepted this reality. But in order to accept it, I have to understand it and know what the new reality is.
After checking in and dropping my luggage off, I head to Station 29. A couple of kiters are set up. I chat with them to figure out important info like currents. With the tide change of almost 6 feet, depending on when and where, combined with wind direction, a person could wind up far away from where they get on the water.
I head down the coast a bit to where some kiters are playing. They have huge kites rigged and are making the most of the tame conditions. There are 1 foot waves rolling in, so I take the opportunity to try wave sailing.
It turns out to be pretty fun and not to complicated in these mild conditions.
The sun starts heading closer to the horizon and the wind totally dies. I catch one more wave and pack it in for the day.
Sunday, I take my time getting ready, take a walk up the bridge to look at the harbor and then head over to Demetre Park. A tiny little parked, tucked into the harbor side of James Island. There is 1 windsurfer and 1 kiter. The wind is good, but with the tide going out, the current is picking up to a point that going out is futile, unless I want to wind up out in the ocean. I should have been there 2 hrs earlier. But I wasn't.
The wind is tame, but I stay out. Because I'm here, and I'm stubborn. Well, after about an hour, my stubbornness pays off and the wind kicks up. After 3 days of searching, I'm finally speeding across the top of the water, hooked in to the harness line, leaning out across the water, free and flying.
On the way home and over the couple of days since, I come to the realization that my life has turned out differently than I had expected. I have a great life, great wife and kid, great job, great friends and great community. Things are great. But even when things are great, it is difficult to look past what could have been, what should have been. I guess it takes a while to get over rejection and feeling unwanted. It takes a while for some wounds to heal. It takes a lot of will power to focus on what reality is now compared to the dreams and aspirations that one had as a young adult. What I thought was right, and what turns out to be real are 2 different things.
But every day I get up, I whisper thanks to God for what I have, what I'm going through, knowing that what is to come is more amazing than what has been. I hug my family and sit down to figure what needs to get done that day (of course there is coffee). And I check the wind forecast. Because just as I know that there will be more good wind days, I also know thatreality is often realized as I wait, and truth is spoken in that still small wind.