I've been trying to figure out, for a long time, what drives me to compete? How far do I want to push myself? How much of the non bike aspects of my life do I want to sacrifice to potentially win? And the big one, is winning worth said sacrifice? These are not easy questions to answer.
I have learned over the years of training, that I don't like a strict routine. I have to work my "training" into regular rides to keep it fun. I do enjoy training, especially for endurance events, because that involves endurance rides. Long rides are what attracted me to mountain biking in the first place.
We watched a documentary on Netflix last night: The Great Alone, the story of Lance Mackey, who one the Iditerod dog sled race 4 times in a row. One thing he said at the end of the movie, after winning the race, overcoming cancer, working through his crap filled childhood: " If I win again, nothing will change".
That statement struck a chord. There are people out there racing for all kinds of different reasons. I learned in the first couple of years of training and racing to find my own reasons. But when it comes down to it, if I happen to win, nothing will change.
This is specifically to the level that I am racing at though. I 'm not seeking sponsorship product or dollars. I'm not seeking fame or making a living off of my results. If I were, I would approach racing from a much more serious, regimented standpoint.