Soooo, Monster Cross rolled around again and I felt ready. Tuesday I took a 40 mile ride with Jason L and felt great. Tuesday night the crap hit the fan....
I couldn't sleep. I've been working on a project and I was running into roadblocks. I was getting frustrated that I couldn't move forward and could not understand what the problem was.
On top of that, the stress of helping the kid start middle school added up and add in other general life problems and BAM. Suddenly, I was losing my appetite and losing sleep.
And then Friday evening, my body responded by shutting down. I was in the bed by 6pm, unable to eat. I finally a little bit of mac n cheese around 8pm and hoped that going to bed and sleeping would help me feel better.
5:45 am, the alarm went off. I went back to sleep and woke up at 6:05am. I decided to get up and give it a go. As I quietly got the bike and food for the day ready, I wished that I had slept in. But, it was early, and I always feel like crap in the morning. I got some coffee and tried to eat, managing to get half a bagel down. I just wasn't hungry.
I hoped that as the ride went on, I would start to feel better. That's why I drove out and lined up at the start. I rolled out and kept hoping for the best. I was on my single speed, so the long ride out the pavement was boring. My legs felt good when I finally got on the gravel and up to Gloucester Gap. I had high hopes as I coasted down the other side and then pedaled to Hwy 215. But, the spark was not there. And I was having trouble eating, feeling nauseous. Not good.
I pedaled up until the pavement started to turn up and I stopped. I knew what was ahead and I knew what I was capable of. I could continue on, I could drive myself into a hole.... etc. Or I could turn around and go home.
DNF is never easy, but it was the right thing to do. It wasn't like I just got a flat and lost the lead group. If I had continued on, I would have driven myself into the ground.
I chose home and the upside was spending time with my family, no regrets.
As I unloaded my bike from the SAG vehicle, and started the "walk of shame" to the timing tent to report my DNF, Eric Wever walked up to me, shook my hand, looked me in the eye and said: " Welcome home, beer is in the cooler, burritos on the way".
A perfect ending to an imperfect ride.