Why I keep DNF'ing And Why You Should Too.

 Life.  Has been coming at me fast and hard lately.   That's why,  even though I was feeling about 75%, I headed out the door on Friday morning.  I'm not sure what was up, but I think stress and fatigue were huge factors.  

Anyway,  I rolled out, excited deep down and hoping that my nausea would turn to elation at some point.

I have been working on  a bike-packing loop for a couple of years now.  Trying to create a loop that would include as much gravel as possible without making it too huge.  Something that would be attainable to a weekend warrior, such as myself. 

Several years ago, I was getting good long rides in most Saturdays and Sundays.  In addition, I was attending Liberty's Thursday night road ride, and some others.  I was fit and decently fast.  My point is, back then,  I could load up my bike and ride the 275 miles to Roanoke, on a whim.  Or set out on the Allegheny Mountains Loop and ride 400 miles in 4 days.

 Not anymore.  My priorities have changed.  And this is what I told the kid when he wondered why I came home early, DNF'ed.
 I'm now asst soccer coach for the kid's school team,  I drive a school bus to help the school out when they are short on drivers.  The wife works every other weekend, so the weekends in between,  I don't want to be gone all day on long rides.  Family time is important.  I have a couple of secret projects that have been consuming my time.  Trips For Kids WNC is healthy and slowly growing, which means more time invested to keep it solid. 
Lots of things. 
I had a lot of time to process this as I climbed the giant hill coming out of Hot Springs,  the hill that did me in, sapped the last of my energy,  forced me to understand that 25 more hilly miles was not going to be possible for me today.   ( I rode 70 yesterday and already had 50 today)

And you know what?

I have no regrets.  I love cycling, but I also love the things that distract me from cycling. And I will continue to be distracted.  I will also continue to set out on big trips with lofty goals of huge mileage,  just to see how far I can go.  Just to test my limits.   Because if I "fail"  I still haven't failed. 

I would feel like a failure if I didn't try. 

I think that's worse than not trying at all.