It is not about me...

I wrote this at the end of last week. I really wanted something exciting to happen. I wanted some great miracle, or blessing to come crashing down out of the sky, just for me. It didn't happen. Well not like that. It came in a still small voice. The same one that told me to give my lunch away:

Tuesday night: Attempted brake job, failed horribly, put it back together

Thursday : took the car to a shop for a $120 brake job, got to spend the morning with my wife and kid, going to school and work, got to pick my kid up from school, getting there early and seeing Jubal in class. It made his day, he later told me how fun it was.

Thursday Evening: Get a call from the shop, the price is now $360 due to a botched patch up of the attempted but horribly failed brake job.

7:30 am Friday Morning: Wake up late, watch battery is dead, leave later than usual but still have enough time to ride my bike to work. Rhonda needed the truck, our only operational motor vehicle, to do stuff for her job. I am cruising along, determined not to be bothered by all the "stuff" that is happening. I get a sweet draft from a front end loader lumbering down Azalea Rd at 22 mph. I turn on Hwy 70 and start cruising towards Swannanoa. There is an old weather beaten dude with a back pack walking along. God says, " give him your lunch", I say, " But I'll be hungry", God says," give him your lunch", I say " All of it?", God says" Give him your lunch" . Alright already. I turn around, pull over, get my lunch out of my messenger bag, roll up on the dude, ( scare him accidentally) hand him my lunch and finish my ride, determined not to think about being hungry the rest of the day.

10am Friday Morning: A co-worker walks in with a plate full of breakfast pastries. Cool, that will hold me over until God blesses me with lunch. I tell myself that someone will probably offer to take me out, or bring me some lunch etc. I'm just waiting to be blessed for what I did. It never happened. At 1:30pm, I realise that I don't deserve free lunch. I already have everything I need. I have $8 in my checking account that I can use to buy lunch for myself. That still small voice gently tells me what a self centered fool I am. I gave my lunch away, not because I care, but to get something out of the deal. It is not about me.

Have a great day