New Year's Day

From the Liberty Bikes Web-Site:

The weather is looking iffy for New Year's Day - please be safe and don't try to get out on icy roads! We will post here if the workday is postponed or cancelled.
Polar Bear Ride, Friday January 1
is now the Polar Bear Workday!
The recent snowstorm did alot of damage to the Bent Creek trails. So the Polar Bear ride will be a trail work day, with the help of SORBA, who do so much to maintain the trails in WNC. Instead of riding we will be clearing the trails. We will still meet at Trails' End at Bent Creek at noon, and hot drinks will be provided - and you will still get plenty of exercise!


Sounds like a fun time!! Who is in?

Have a great day.

Wondering

6 yrs ago, I was sitting in Las Vegas, with Rhonda, visiting my older brother and his family. We had moved to Durango, CO to work in public schools teaching abstinence as a way to prevent STD's and pregnancy.....amazingly enough it works!. After moving to Durango, promises were broken, things were not how they had been presented, and we were being treated poorly. We confronted the boss first, and with no response or change, we confronted the board. After some long stressful days and sleepless nights, we walked away.

Sometimes you stay and fight, sometimes you have to let go.

I searched for a job, high and low. There was nothing available that would support us. Rhonda was pregnant and due in 5 months too. We had several options but the best one seemed to be to move into a friend's basement in Asheville, NC.

We continued to look for a job for the rest of January and moved in February. The day I picked up the moving truck, I got a phone call saying that there was a job opening. By that time I was so worn out, I declined and drove the truck home to start loading. I sometimes briefly wonder what would have happened had I taken that job, only briefly though with no regrets. Then I think about all the things, good and bad, that would NOT have happened had I taken that job.

As a last hurrah, CO dumped snow on us as we loaded the truck. At that time we had a VW Fox station wagon, and a Honda Accord. The VW we loaded onto a trailer, packed full, with boats on top, loaded the truck which I drove and put Rhonda and Texas in the Honda. Finally, late one snowy, dark cold night, we headed down the road towards Albuquerque, NM.

Looking back on the past 6 years and the things that I have learned, more about myself than anything, I don't regret that decision at all. I have realized that there will always be other things that I want to be doing, places I want to go, and it is good to have dreams. But if those dreams distract me from what I am here to do now, they become a hindrance.

I think that there are periods in life when everything works out and a person has a chance to wander around this world, free and unfettered, and then at some point, other things work out and a person buys a project house, gets a stable job, has a kid and becomes content with living right here, right now.

So, here I am, 6 years later, still dreaming of doing big things in this world, but realizing that it is the small things that often have the biggest impact!

Have a great day.

Not Complaining....

It's cold!!! Having been off the bike for 4 weeks now, it is difficult to find the motivation to get out. I have nothing to maintain!! Everything I worked for before the surgery is gone and I am starting over. So, why not put it off a little longer. Plus, the kid is on winter break, and if I don't ride, everybody gets to sleep in. And I'll have more time to finish my current project, the super secret, state of the art, indoor training facility.

In addition, 25 degrees with a wind chill in the single digits does not sound even the least bit enjoyable. I think I'll put the riding off for another couple of days and hopefully get some long ones in this weekend!!

Snake Creek Gap TT is this weekend. This is one of two races that I look forward to immediately after finishing. It is a fun, friendly and challenging atmosphere. The scenery is great and it is just a blast!! But with no training going on and the first on in less than one week, I'm going to skip it this year. I can't justify the Feb and March races this year either, with the costs involved, and the bills that I owe. Hmmmmm, I'm still keeping hope that maybe I can go in March. I dnf'ed the last one last year and want to ride this one well, but it might have to wait until 2011. The plus side is that we will have less travel for the next 3 months, and maybe we'll take a trip to the beach on of these weekends!!

The first race of the season will be the 6 hrs of Warriors Creek, followed by the Pisgah Area Sorba: Save the Trails Challenge, and then the Cohutta 100, another favorite.

I'm looking forward to the New Year and what it will bring!

Have a great day.

Back

I started my yoga routine again this morning. After a 4 week break I am a bit "stove up". It feels good to be back!! I'm hoping to start riding again tomorrow, with a high of 35 degrees and low in the low 20's, I might be using my new indoor training center.

The long Christmas weekend was nice but lacked any outdoor adventures. I made a point of doing nothing other than spending time with my family on Christmas Eve and Day.

We didn't do much, but did a lot at the same time. It was relaxing and fun.

This morning, I plan on heading over to Mission Hospital to find out if they have any treatments for large sized medical bills. I have gotten a lot of good advice from quite a few people and heard several different experiences. The main thing I am getting is that they will work with me.

Have a great day!!

The Eve..

Christmas Eve 2009:

Enjoy your day, whatever you might be doing.

Don't go to Wal-Mart, everybody else is there.

If you have not finished shopping, go online and get a gift card, it will be less stressful, and just as satisfying.

Unless it's for a bike person, then go to your local bike shop and buy them a gift card.

Whatever you do, don't buy them something you think they need or want, they probably don't...need or want it.

Coffee is a good option, even for a non coffee person, because if they don't want it, they can give it back.

Don't buy a bunch of stuff for the kids, they already have a bunch of stuff. Get them one or two useful, educational, functional items that they will use for a long time.

Money is always good, help someone pay their debt. Sure its their debt but who cares, the help will be appreciated.

Love is even better.

Money and love is better than good. ( and chocolate).

Relax, focus on the positive, improve on the negative.

And if you can't think of anything, you can purchase a bike (or 2 or a dozen) in honor of someone.

Have a great day!!!

Waiting..

Easier said than done. As hard as I am trying to wait and see what is going to happen, I still mull it over in my head. I was sitting at work feeling sorry for myself and decided to take the rest of the day off, and go do something constructive, literally. I was get ready to leave the office to go work on the house, my awesome never-ending project, when my cell phone rang. I immediately recognized the number as my dentist's.

Hesitantly, I answered. The cheery receptionist on the other end informed me that if I could get there in 45 minutes, they could take care of my two fillings, (old fillings that needed work), and the crown ( old crown that needs to be replaced), could be done in January.

This was not really the way that I wanted to spend my afternoon, but I went for it because, then it would be done with.

As I was sitting in the waiting room, I started to wonder. Why is it that all of the staff are so cheery? In fact, I know several dentists, and while they are all very nice people, they are a little too cheery when it comes time to give shots and drill on your teeth. And then I started to think that there must be some sort of masochism involved. Because when the dentist pulls out that 2 foot long polish stainless steel syringe, the one that was used in the middle ages as a torture device, there is a little twinkle in their eye that lights up when they say, " This is going to hurt a little bit".

At that point I got called back. It was my turn and I was not looking forward to it. But it had to be done, unless I want to lose all of my teeth.

As I lay in the chair, getting stuck with needles, and drilled on , suctioned, sprayed, rinsed, the cheeriness continued. Chit chat about music, where to park, what to eat...... I learned all kinds of things about my dentist!!

As I headed out the door though, I realized how nice it was to have a dentist who is confident in what they do, efficient and genuinely cares. If you need a good dentist in Asheville, call Dr Rodriguez. I had one other dentist group in my life who really took care of me in the past who I want to give props to. Young and Associates in Shelby, NC.

After getting home, since I was feeling motivated and could not eat, I got started on the house project, and was thankful that I have friends and family around me who care!!!

Have a great day.

Advice...

On my way home from Roanoke I got a call from a good friend who is also a physician. When he told me he had read my blog post and that he was going to "be a bit presumptuous", I was a little concerned about where the conversation was going to go. There was no need for concern though, because he is a good friend and had some great advice. Thanks for that call!!

As I was sitting, stranded on the interstate turned parking lot, I had lots of time to mull things over. I thought about my life, about this blog, about friends and bike races, about family.

As I finally laid in bed at 5am, I realized that there is not much more that I can do about my hospital bill, than I could have done about being stranded.

The message here is to wait. I can't fix things, or find a solution that will make problems suddenly dissolve, I need to wait, simply wait.

It's difficult to explain, because I am in the middle of it right now, but as things pan out I'll update so you can celebrate with me.

Have a great day!!

Stranded...

My boss let me off at 10 am on Friday. I headed home got packed and pushed the family out the door. We had planned on leaving later in the afternoon, but the snow was actually coming down, and I felt that we would be able to make the drive to Roanoke. I have plenty of experience driving in winter weather and knew that we could make it.

We left Asheville and headed up I-26 over the mountains. It was a raining at this point which was fine with me. Traffic was flowing nicely. We attempted to hit the Chic-Fil-A in Johnson City but that place was jam packed with traffic. After finally getting out of there, we headed on up the interstate and found a Cracker Barrel that was not too crowded. After stuffing ourselves we hit the road again.

Around Bristol, TN the rain started to mix with snow, and within the next 5 miles, it was all snow. A steady snow, sticking to everything. We had to slow down to about 45-50 mph but traffic was flowing well. People were really good about not blocking the left lane too, so we could cruise on part the slower drivers.

Then we started to see carnage. Cars in ditches, a charred truck on it's side, a couple of vehicles on their roofs, a mini van in front of us sliding, swerving, spinning before finally getting wedged in a ditch. At this point we could have turned back, but being half way, it didn't make sense. It would be slow going either direction.

As darkness fell, I was surprised that traffic was still flowing. It was around 6pm when I decided that we should stop and get some food. We only had about 50 miles left in the trip, but I knew that there was a good chance that the interstate could turn into a parking lot at any moment.

As we got back on the interstate, after buying a lunchable for Jubal and a gas station pimento cheese sandwich and chips for me, I mentioned to Rhonda that I thought it was a good idea to get some food. Less than 10 minutes after finishing my sandwich, traffic slowed to a crawl and then stopped.

At this point, the time line gets a bit fuzzy, but I will do my best to recall the events as they happened.

My first thought was to be thankful that i had a full belly. On the south bound lanes of I-81, we could clearly see the reason for the back up. We were facing a downhill which placed the opposite lanes on an uphill. Trucks and cars were getting halfway up the hill and slipping, not able to keep the forward momentum. They would then stop and spin their wheels in a futile attempt to gain some ground. One thing about driving on the snow is that if you lose your momentum you are done.

I think that we sat there for about an hour, I vaguely remember that a wrecker or two, and a couple of state patrol vehicles went past on the shoulder during that wait. Traffic started to crawl, then slowed to a slow motion crawl, then sped up to a speeding crawl. We went through this cycle several times. We stopped for a small duration of time several times. Once we were moving again, traffic had gone into a single file line for some reason. I noticed that both lanes had snow on them but both were plowed. I got into the left lane and started passing people.

Suddenly, traffic there was no traffic in front of us. We were at the front of the line. The hold up was a tractor trailer going about 25 mph. We led the charge and were going about 45 mph. Nothing but snow and darkness in front of us. We got very excited about the prospect of getting to the in-laws within one hour. That would put us there around 8pm.

We made good time for about 8 miles before traffic appeared in front of us and we came to a dead stop. The road here was wide, with wide shoulders. There were tire tracks on the shoulder on both sides of the road. Occasionally an emergency vehicle would come past on the shoulder, then some 4 wheel drive vehicles came by and then a mini van. We debated for several hours about whether of not we should make a dash for it up the shoulder. My reason for caution was that I did not want to be the one to block emergency vehicles.

I recall that we sat there and debated it for about 3 hrs. I finally decided to go for it. I walked up to the guy in front of us in a Jeep Cherokee and told him I was ready to go for it, but I could not go unless he went. Someone behind me yelled something so I walked back and chatted with her; a super nice African American lady in a big Chevy Tahoe 4-wheel drive. I told her that I planned to go for it, and she said" Honey, I'll be right behind you, I've been following you, and I'll just go where you go".

So we went for it. Weaved over to the should and started going, the shoulder was fine. At this point, I should mention, there was about 1 foot of snow on the ground. From the feel of the traction, the left wheels were on pavement while the right wheels were not, it was difficult to tell though. As we drove, there was a car stuck on the shoulder, blocking the way. I watched the jeep weave back into the parked traffic, I followed, we were able to get around the car and back onto the shoulder. The forward progress felt good.

As we neared a tractor trailer, and were about to pass it, some dude stepped out in front of me. Knowing that if I stopped I would be stuck, I hesitated......then hit the breaks. The dude turned around, looked at me and shrugged before walking away. I was mad but focused on the task at hand. I gently coaxed the accelerator and spun, then felt the front of the van sink into the snow. It appeared that we were done, stuck on the shoulder, blocking the remaining open lane.

I jumped out of the van and went back to chat with the Tahoe driver. I told her why I stopped and she was upset. I then had a thought. I said," Hey, I'm stuck and we are not going to get out. I lost my momentum and got stuck. But, if you give me a push we can get going again". Fortunately, she thought that was a great idea. I was not really worried about any scratches that would come from the push, I just wanted to get my family to safety.

I coaxed her up until she made contact with the van, the bumpers barely matching, jumped in the van, heart pounding. She pushed, I eased onto the gas, I spun the tires, let off, she pushed, the tires got traction and we were moving again!! We went another hundred yards and were forced to stop next to a tractor trailer.

For some reason this truck driver was spinning his tires trying to get unstuck, even though there was nowhere to go. The cars in front finally moved up enough that I could pull up, but now the lady in the Tahoe was next to the spinning truck tires. So I started going forwards and backwards and edging over in front of the truck, so the lady could get out of the way.

The truck driver jumped out of the cab and made a bee line for the van. He was yelling and cussing about his 80,000 lbs load and how if he slides into someone, he would kill them and if someone runs into him it won't be pretty.... So, I stopped for a moment, he got back in the truck and started spinning again, I went back to making room for my friend in the Tahoe. This set him off again, and he came to my window yelling again. So, I stopped. He went back to his truck and started spinning again!!!!

I got out of the van, went over to his cab where he sat towering above me. He rolled down his window and I said' " Look, I'm not trying to be a jerk here, I'm just trying to get my wife and kid to her parents house, our exit is 2 miles up the road. I'm also trying to get out of the way so the lady in the Tahoe can get out of your way. It looks like I'm not going anywhere and you are not going anywhere so I will chill if you will chill". I repeated the offer once or twice, he calmed down and agreed to chill. ( though he did calm down, he did continue to spin for about an hour or two before finally settling down).

By now it was close to 10 pm and we were stuck, several 4x4's went up the should but every single one had difficulty. The shoulder on the left was decent, but blocked by a truck about 100 yards up. If it moved over about 1-2 feet we could get through.

Bored, and not wanting to sleep for fear of missing a chance to get through, I dozed here and there for 5-10 minutes. Jubal finally went to sleep around midnite and Rhonda dozed. I got out of the van, walked around, talked to people, dug a latrine down the median for Rhonda, walked the dog. We were prepared with winter clothes, food and enough water for now. Around 1am, we were running low on water, and apparently others were too. There was lots of freshly fallen snow though, so I was not too worried.

A little after 1am, we got word from the trucker that the National Guard had been called out. I figured we would not see them until day break, and they would most likely make sure everybody was safe, before trying to clear the road. Around 2pm I dozed again. I woke up every time the truck's fan cycle kicked in as it sounded like a snow plow coming along side us. I woke up disappointed every time.

2:45am, I was once again wakened by loud engines. This time it was snow plows coming up the right shoulder. I had to take a second look to make sure. The rolled past us and stopped. I jumped out of the van to see what would happen. I walked up to talk to the drivers who had walked up to talk to the truck driver whose truck was blocking the road. They said that we were stuck, because they were afraid that if the truck moved, he would slide into another truck beside him. I went back to the van and made sure the path in from of each wheel was clear. I cleared the snow out, down to the pavement so I would be sure that I could get going when it was "go time".

Suddenly, I heard the truck crank it's engine, saw the snow plows moving forward, and the line of cars moving past. I jumped in the van, cranked it up, waited for a gap and pulled in. Rhonda hurriedly got Jubal buckled and we were moving.

Cautiously elated we got passed the truck that had been blocking the road. Beyond that was smooth sailing. We were about 5 cars behind the plows and got up to cruising around 35 mph. We were about 2 miles from the next exit, where we could take city roads to Roanoke. But which would be a better choice. Stay on the Interstate where the National Guard would be focusing, or risk getting stuck on a deserted city/ county road.

The 2 miles gave us time to think, though. There were trucks and cars all over the place, mired in the snow, but only one lane was blocked, if we could have gotten past 6 hrs ago, we would have been clear.

I hesitated at the exit and headed down the ramp. I figured that if we had to, we could get back on the interstate. Once we got off the ramp though, the roads were plowed and there was little traffic. We were at the in-laws in less than 30 minutes from the time we got off of the interstate.....4am.

Have a great day!!!

Stalled...

I was cleared to ride 2 days ago, but I have yet to find the time to get on the bike. Bummer, It looks like I'll start up this weekend again, after the snow melts. Forecasters are getting a little ambitious and calling for 10 inches in Asheville. When school officials caught wind of that, they closed schools. So, Christmas vacation starts early for the kids. I'm sure the teachers don't mind, the kids are pretty wound up and they need a break. The kids don't mind either, I have no doubt about that.

I would think the group that is hit hardest when school is canceled, is the single parent working 2 jobs to stay afloat. Now they have to take a day off of work because they can't afford child care. They can't really afford to take a day off of work either but, they have value in their child. They have all the same bills to pay as everybody else, but life dealt them some tough blows and here they are struggling. I wonder if they can even afford health insurance.

I wonder what happens when someone without health insurance has an emergency appendectomy. Do they ignore it because they can't afford to go to the ER? Because they know they could never pay off the huge bill? I tried to ignore mine, but I had the safety net of health insurance. My bill is up around $7000, so far. (excluding my mortgage, which is more of an investment, this is the most I have ever been in debt. If I don't have it, I don't spend it).

Which begs the question, how am supposed to pay that? I don't have that kind of money hanging around. I'm glad the other $10,000 is covered by insurance....

What is a person supposed to do? I can totally understand how easy it would be to get into illegal work to pay off this bill. I had 40 Percoset pills that I didn't use. For the record, we disposed of them properly. But, the street value of those pills? I could have made a small dent in my debt. All kinds of other illegal activity runs through my head, but I can see how easy it would be to fall into that trap.

The helplessness, the overwhelming loss of hope that comes with a large debt, can be difficult to manage. And the irony? The day I went into the hospital, was the day before payday, the paycheck that paid off my previous debt for Jubal's dental care.

What is a person supposed to do? Should I work my day job, then go work another 6 hrs at McDonalds? Then get worn down, not see my family, get sick etc. Maybe. Maybe that's what I have to do. That's a crappy way to live life.

I don't know that we need health care reform as much as we need health care COST reform.

Have a great day.

Cleared....

....to ride!!

I left work yesterday afternoon to go to my follow-up appt. Full of anticipation, I waited for 1 hr in the waiting room. At least it was spacious and not crowded. When I was finally called back, I waited another 15 minutes until the PA came in. She looked at the incisions, said they look good. One has a little lump that might be the suture being rejected by my body. She said that if it start to stick out, that I should just trim it.

I asked about riding and yoga. Her response was that I could begin to resume normal activity, but to take it easy and don't do anything that would strain the abs. She told me no jumping on the bike and no steep hills, for a couple more weeks. As for yoga, I'm not aloud to do any of the "crazy" poses.

Yeah, it's on!!!

Have a great day!!

Wanted

..... a few good people ( or lots of good people would be good too), to help spread the word about "The Power of Bicycles".

The feeling I get as I think about kids walking 5 miles to school each way, or medical workers having to walk 12 miles, each way, to offer medical care, is helplessness. The despair that I imagine normal everyday people experience as they try to deliver goods on foot, and make enough of a living, not to enter the next race, but to purchase the next meal, is overwhelming.

But the despair is abated, and the helplessness turns to helpfulness, when I pull on my World Bicycle Relief Kit. I know then that people are at least gaining the knowledge about WBR. But when someone asks about the mission, and then donates so that some kids can have reliable transportation to get to school, or a medical worker gets to make more visits in a day, or a small business owner can carry 12 times as much product, that is a feeling of pride. That little old me is actually doing something to make the world a better place.

And you can help. World Bicycle Relief has made the Logo merchandise available to anyone who wants to spread the word. I have been purchasing and riding in my own WBR kit for 2 years now and the quality is unbeatable.

I challenge you in this coming year to do something other than just ride your bike for fun, or to simply challenge yourself. I want you to continue those things, but I challenge you to add the component of speaking out for this organization and our brothers and sisters around the world who gain a better life through the help they receive.

And when you do receive your kit, send me a picture that I can post here.....I'll make you famous ;)

See you out there.

Have a great day.

Hiking

I got to spend some time alone this weekend and decided to hit Kistuma. The pace was definitely slower since I was hiking instead of riding. The scenery the same though and totally worth it. My legs were fatigued when I got back to the truck an hour later.

3 more days until my follow up appt. I'm feeling really good, and the incisions are healing well, according to my untrained eye anyway. I am getting restless and ready to roll again, but waiting patiently until the right time.
Saturday night was the Pisgah Area Sorba Holiday Party. It was held at Asheville Pizza and Brewing Co. on Coxe Ave. World Bicycle Relief sponsored a showing of Klukerz, a history of Mtn Biking, and PAS held a silent auction with proceeds, over $250, going to WBR.

There were two I-9 wheelsets given away, volunteer recognition, MVP award to Carlos. The Bicycle Dealers Association of WNC recognized several people's efforts by awarding them a $50 gift certificate to local participating bike shops. I was honored when the called me up to receive one too.
Sunday I helped Chris Strout unload his U-haul, a few other guys were there too which was good because I can't lift heavy items yet. Chris is pumped to be here, and I can't blame him. Chicago to Asheville? Good move!! Welcome to WNC.

Well, one of my friends commented that my posts are probably getting boring, since I'm not riding, and that I'm going to lose my fan base. So, if you are bored, bear with me, I am bored too!!! I'll be back on the bike with some exciting stories soon.

Have a great day!

Personalized

For at least two years I have been wanting to get this personalized plate, but things that were more important kept popping up. So, finally when someone sent me a little monetary gift for my birthday, I set aside the necessary amount and placed the order!!!


Over to the Fat Cyclist fundraising Blitzkrieg:
Totals:
Livestrong: $61,610.50

World Bicycle Relief: $63,089.55

Wow, so amazing. Fatty posted a video of Johan on his blog, go check it out.

I'm starting to feel quite a bit better. My digestive tract is feeling normal again and everything seems to be running smoothly. My energy is up and I am able to start using my abs to breathe, sit up, get out of bed etc. The incisions are healing, I'm scared to take the steri strips off though because I don't want anything to pop open.

I thought about getting some fake, nasty, festering wounds to put on for my doc's visit next week, but something tells me the doc does not have much of a sense of humor. He is probably not real happy already, due to the fact that my appendix was wrapped around my colon...... anyway, too bad cause it would make for a good laugh!!

So I have a weekend with stuff that needs to be done around the house, but can I do it? nope, so what to do? I'm sure I'll find something creative to do. I'm thankful that I am healing so well.

I'm not sure if Snake Creek Gap is gonna happen this year. If I can only go to one, I'm not sure I want to pay the fee... just for one race. But, it is one of my favorites, and, well, it's one of my favorites. Maybe we'll make a long weekend out of it!! Wait and see.

Have a great day!!!!

Lose Yourself

The world does not revolve around me. I am a part of the world, but I am not the center of the world. I have been created and placed here to play a part. A part in a worldwide play, a musical of sorts, only not the corny musical where everybody sings their part. That would be annoying. Then I would have to sing my blog and you would not enjoy it as much. You are welcome to sing my blog if you want to, but please don't sing it to me. That would also be annoying.

Along the lines of yesterday's post, the self centered, thinking too highly of myself approach is not the intended way to go through life. When I start acting, and it seems to be a natural tendency, like the world revolves around me, things get a little weird. I start to alienate people, get prideful, look down on my fellow man and forget my purpose, forget my part in this universal play.

Take a real play for example. If I am assigned a back-up part, or even better, if my job is to run the lights. ( I really did run the lights for a show back when I was in HS). I run the lights during the many rehearsals, and then the time for the big show arrives. I decide that the dude who is in the lead role is not the right guy for the job. Seconds before he comes on stage, and I time it perfectly, I prance out and do his song and dance.

Two things happen. First, the lights don't happen because I have left my post and no one else knows the combination of blues, reds, greens, yellows etc. Second, the play is terrible, because although I know all the lines, my acting is terrible, and people go home disappointed.

So in the great play called life, we are all given roles. But, does that mean we are stuck here? Doing the same monotonous things everyday for the rest of our lives? For some I say yes. For those that don't have the courage to step up and follow their dreams, yes. For those that are afraid of failure, yes. For those that think that hobbies or dreams are a waste of time, yes.

My first 34 years of life was spent exploring, figuring it out. I don't think that I tried to take over someone else's role exactly, but I did try some things that I was not meant to be. And I learned from those experiences. I learned a lot. I learned what I was good at, and what I was not so good at. I learned that some things I am good at, I don't enjoy so much, but that I could endure those things so that I could achieve other things that I totally enjoy.

So, here I am, 37 years into life, and I have found a role that I enjoy. Some aspects are not my favorite, but I can see how those aspects allow me to do things that I really love, ie. spending time with my wife and kid, and racing my bike!!

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
(emenem)

Have a great play!!!!

Judgement

"Do not judge...."

Great advice, but one of the most difficult things for a person to do. Totally possible, but difficult.

I have judgmental tendencies. I tend to look at a person and scorn them for the position that they are in. And look down on them because they made decisions that they could have made differently, and if they had made those better decisions, then they wouldn't be in such a predicament. As if I know all the right answers and I was in their shoes at the moment of their decision, and I would have made the right decision. As if I could have done things better, and by saying " that's really not the way you should have done things", or " you should do this" ....blah, blah, blah. As if I am that much better than my fellow human, that I can be so haughty, so prideful, such a jerk.

Don't judge.
It's not my job to tell you that what you are doing is not to my liking, to tell you that you should be doing things this way. It's not my job to make sure you make all the right decisions. It' s not my job..... not my job.

As I said, I have judgmental tendencies. So, what to do? Retrain the brain. When I catch myself being judgmental, I stop myself and start over. I have not right to judge others. Why? Then I take a look at myself....... I see fault after fault. Sure, there is a lot of good stuff too, but that's not my focus right now.

I believe that when we judge others, we are placing ourselves in a position above that person.

#1 who gave me the right to place myself in a position above others?
#2 who gave me the right to place myself in a position above others?

It smacks of pride. A big pile of rotten, smelly, disastrous pile of pride. And it's not right.

My desire is to serve my fellow humans. To work together with them to make this world a better place. To live together in harmony. But that cannot be done if we are constantly judging each other, and using other people's faults to make ourselves feel better. It's wrong, don't do it.

Have a great day!!

Fat Cyclist

I posted over the weekend about a fund raising challenge issued by Johaan B from Team Radio Shack Cycling, to Fat Cyclist. Fat Cyclist had written a letter to Johaan, explaining why he should be a part of the Team. Johaan Challenged Fatty to raise some funds for World Bicycle Relief and Livestrong.

At this point he has raised:
for World Bicycle Relief: $34,350
for Livestrong: $ 31,395

That is so awesome on both fronts. As a fulfillment of the challenge, Fatty gets to go ride with the Radio Shack Team at their training camp!

Congrats Fat Cyclist!! And thanks for helping out two very worthy causes.

And if that was not enough, yesterday, Johaan upped the ante:

Dear Fat Cyclist -

I don't know you personally, but I'm very very impressed with what you and your friends have done in a very short time. I always want to see my riders succeed, and the same goes for you, but I never thought you would accomplish the two goals so quickly!

I must say - you have a very clever and generous fundraising strategy. You could have easily taken the signed Trek Madone 6 series powered by SRAM bike for yourself, but you used that and a SuperFly bike (which you got on your own) as giveaways.

So Fatty, we will see you at camp!!! And to be honest, I'm very much looking forward to seeing your cycling talents. If they're anything like your fundraising skills, then maybe it's time for you to quit your day job!?!

So congratulations to you and everyone who has helped you along the way!! World Bicycle Relief and LIVESTRONG are two causes that I'm very supportive of and it's been nice to see such a great response!!

But that's not the only reason I'm writing.

We were talking about you this morning at the breakfast table. I saw you were approaching $25,000 for each organization and everyone was telling me that I couldn't let you just stop there. One rider said, "It would be like me winning Stage 3 and then stopping! Make him go for MORE!!" It's tough to argue with that logic. So I made another call - This time to Trek Travel President Tania Worgull to see if she wanted to set a new goal for you. And it just so happens she did! So here we go ... The BIG prize!

By Friday December 11, 12:00 PM US Mountain Standard/Tucson, AZ Time you must have met the following criteria

- A Grand Total minimum of $50,000 for World Bicycle Relief

AND

- A Grand Total minimum of $50,000 for LIVESTRONG

If those two criteria are met by the stated deadline, Trek Travel will donate one 2010 Paris Finishing Package to witness the finale of the Tour de France!! And yes, airfare will be taken care of.

Now how about THAT for a prize?!?!

World Bicycle Relief - http://grassroots.kintera.org/Creative/fatcyclist
LIVESTRONG - http://www.livestrong.org/grassroots2009/sendfattytocamp

And you still have time to donate. Each donation enters you in the drawing to win some cool stuff. So, go donate, make a difference, feel good about yourself!!

Have a great day!

Back To Work

I realized last night as I was laying in bed, that I was not dreading going back to work. I don't really want to go. I would rather lay around the house for another week, at least this week I could go for some walks around the hood. But no, I don't dread going in. That's a good thing. I have had plenty of jobs that I dreaded going in every morning.

Back to Work.

My body seems to be mending well. I sneezed yesterday for the first time since Monday. That really hurt, and I am very glad that I did not sneeze earlier in the week. After each sneeze, I had to take a moment to recuperate. It felt like I had gotten a good stiff jab in the stomach.

We went downtown to the " Big Crafty" yesterday. I walked around and did fine. Although I was a bit tired when we got back to the van.

One of the things that was difficult this week, was breathing. Due to the swelling of the abdomen, the ab muscles were not effective in the breathing process, and this made me feel short breathed. Odd sensation, and added to the sensation of being out of shape.

I'm not overly concerned with losing fitness at this point. It's gonna happen and right now there is nothing I can do about it. I'm hoping to to some walking during lunch time, that will be helpful. Another plus about my job is the location tucked back in the fold of the Black Mtns.

Since I will be driving to work for a while, instead of riding my bike, I looked into the bus schedule. That's not gonna happen. I would have to be walking out my door at 6am, and not getting back until 7:30pm. That's not going to happen.

14 days until winter solstice!!

Have a great day.

Help Me Help "Fatty" Help World Bicycle Relief

First Fat Cyclist issued a challenge to Johan Bruyneel. Then Johan responded the "Fatty's" challenge.

Pretty simple really: so donate now, and help me help fatty help World Bicycle Relief!!!

Walking

I went for a walk yesterday, 3 houses up the road and back. I didn't realize that I would be so tired. I guess I have not really been sleeping well. The night of the surgery, I was waking every hour so they could take my vitals.

Then the following nights, I have some trouble going to sleep, only to wake up a couple of hours later, wide awake. I've had some pretty freaky dreams too, that made me not want to go back to sleep. One that I remember, I was being chased by freaky Chucky looking puppets.

So, I was thinking yesterday about walking. I'm looking forward to the doc visit in 1.5 weeks so I can find out when I can ride again, but as cross training, I am hoping that hiking will be an option. It would be easy around here to get some long walks in in lieu of long rides, and keep up my aerobic conditioning. Gotta have options.

So today, I have just finished a scrambled egg with toast and jam, working on a cup of coffee, and I'm going to watch The Star Trek Movie.

Asheville is under a winter storm watch, so it could be an exciting weekend!!

Have a great day.

Appendectomy

Monday morning I woke up feeling fine. I didn't ride my bike to work, #1 because it was raining, #2 because I was starting my full training schedule again. Monday would be my rest day for the remainder of 2009 and through the 2010 season.

Around 10am I felt bloated and gassy. I also felt hungry and a little nauseous, so I ate a bagel with cream cheese and drank some water to make sure I was hydrated. I figured I was having gas pains and I would be fine as soon as I could fart!!

Around 12 noon, my co-workers, with love, told me I looked terrible and that I should go home. So, I did. I could not get comfortable though. I tried all sorts of positions and wondered if there is a yoga position to help alleviate gas pains.

Rhonda called our doctor and got an appointment for us. It was time for Jubal to get out of school so we went by and picked him up. ( we do everything as a family). When we got to the doctor's office I could not even sit in the waiting room but knelt on the floor with my head on the seat.

Clue #1: If it hurts that bad, it's not gas.

I was taken back to an examination room and laid on the chairs. Then doc came in and with quite a bit of shock asked me what was going on. I told him that I didn't know. He checked me out and sent me to radiology at the hospital to get a ct scan to see if they could find anything. As I was laying there in pain, the doc told me he could call EMS if I wanted him to. I told him that it costs way too much, and had Rhonda take me. She did just fine driving me to the hospital.

I made my way to the check in desk and once again squatted down. I really should have gone to the ER but trusted where my doc had sent me. After shedding some tears, and walking all the way across St Joseph's, I crumpled again to the floor while waiting for someone to show up at the desk, after I rang the bell on the desk.

A doctor came out, and asked me if he could help me. I told him I hoped so, and they finally got me on a gurney. Minutes later I emptied my stomach on the side of the gurney and the floor. The doc started freaking out about how I didn't need to be there, but in the ER. He called someone and repeatedly stated:" This guy does not need to be here, he needs to be over there" (at the ER). He finally communicated that they needed to send an ambulance to pick me up and take me to the ER. I almost opted for Rhonda to take me, because, once again, ambulances are not covered by insurance and they cost a lot. But, before I could oppose, they put an IV in and there was no turning back.

I arrived at the ER around 4:30pm. They put me in an observation room, took vitals and left me there. I ended up falling asleep and woke up around 6pm. I was feeling a bit better and was starting to think about going home. After discussing the possible ramifications of a ruptured appendix, I opted to stay and get the CT Scan done. Around 9pm, I finally got the scan and the result was appendicitis. By 10pm, they put the mask on my face and I was out.

I slowly awoke around 11pm, with lots of people bustling around me. At some point I guess they were all satisfied that I was back, and they all disappeared. A short time later, with a heart rate of 40bpm, they wheeled me to my room where I would spend the next 14 hrs.

The morphine through the IV helped dull the pain, but I was wondering what I needed to do to get out of there and back to my normal life. The PA came in later and let me know that if I was off the IV, eating solids, walking without dizziness or nausea and taking pain meds orally, then I would be free to go. By noon I was doing all of the above.

I was out of there by 2pm, in time to pick the kid up from school on the way home!!

So, now I'm at home recovering, resting, and not doing much. I'm a little anxious about the bills that will come from this, but that usually gets worked out, even if not in my timing.

I will be off the bike for at least 2 weeks, possibly longer, to let the ab muscles heal completely so I don't get hernias. I'll willingly stay off the bike as long as I need to in order to avoid another surgery. And this will give everybody a chance to catch up to my fitness level so we can start 2010 on an even playing field!!

I have an appointment with the surgeon in 2 weeks where we will discuss my options, and we will take it from there.

Have a great day