This is going to be vague, but I hope to convey the point without too many details. The details are not what matter at this point in my story, only the results.
Yesterday, I cried. It has been a long time since I have cried. I over the past 3 yrs, I had the privilege of forming a bond, a deeply unique friendship, with two special people. Yesterday, I said goodbye to both of them. They are each going their own way, following what life has offered them and I wish them well. I will see them again, but I had gotten used to and even looked forward to seeing them almost daily.
Why do I tell you this? Two years ago, I stood up for myself, and found a freedom that was worth the fight. But the fight left me lacking in trust, and admitting that it might be impossible to form a bond as strong as I did since.
I cried for sadness and then for joy as I realized I still had the capability to feel in that area of life. I do still have the capability to trust and to form lasting friendships.
For those of you who struggle, keep struggling. Challenge yourself, question yourself and replace your negative thought patterns with positive ones. There is hope and healing is a part of that hope!!
Keep your head up and choose to make the world a better place.