I Cried

I cried tonight, watcing Friday Night Lights.  It was never ok for me to cry when I was a kid.  It was always "stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about".  or  "quit crying"  or " what are you crying for? toughen up?".  What  is that?

It's ok to cry.  It's ok to show emotion.  It's ok to feel passionate about things in your life.  It's ok!! 

Go ahead and cry.  Go ahead and make yourself vulnerable.  Go ahead and fail.  It's ok.

I get so pissed when I fail. Why is that? 

Just tonight,  I attempted to sew some bike bags for myself. When I failed, I took it out on my wife.  What kind of crap is that?  You don't take things out on your wife, your kids, the ones you love, when you are the one who came up short.  And over some freaking bike bags? Or anything else!!  Who cares if you can sew bike bags?  No one.  

Sure it would be cool if I could sew bike bags, but I can't.  I failed at that, but who cares.  I can save up a little money and buy some bike bags.  It's ok to rely on others.  I don't have to be the best at everything I do.  I am good at some things and other people are good at other things.  If we can work together, we all get what we need. 

What can I do?  I can love the ones I live with.  I can empower them to feel, to cherish, to be proud of what they do.  How?   By feeling, by cherishing, by being proud of what they do.

So, when my wife wakes up at 5:45am tomorrow morning, to go to work her tail off as a CNA.  I want the world to know that I am proud of her.  Proud of her for following her dreams, and working her tail off to do the dirty work, so that she can go to school and earn a Registered Nurse degree.  And I will work a second job with pride to pay for that degree, and I will have no regrets.  It is her dream and may I be damned if I stand in the way of my wife's or my kid's dreams!! 

Have a great day!