Coming to Grips

This season's training has been interesting so far.  Since starting racing about 5 yrs ago, I have been hellbent on forcing my way to the podium.  I talk about how winning is not the most important thing etc, and while I believe that, I would still like to get to the top. 

In the past 2 months, already pushing through several challenges,  I have been coming to grips with the reality that I might not be programed to win.  I'm not sure why, but that inner drive to sacrifice everything is simply not there.  Actually, I think its there, it is just supressed by other things in life.  Things like spending time with my wife and kid.  I skipped two major workouts this weekend, in trade for fun time with the family. 

Some would say that I was sacrificing training time and that my fitness was suffering.  I say I'm not willing to sacrifice that much family time and have my relationships suffer.  Its a balance, really, and I have to remind myself to stop comparing myself to others. I have to stop trying to stand on top and be the best. 

Instead, I need to focus on my personal goals.  There will be plenty of time later this season that I do sacrifice that family time and head out on a big (hopefully) adventure. 

So, my goals are changing, or rather, I am realizing what I am capable of.   While it would be great to stand on the podium,  I'll keep doing what I'm doing,  enjoying my family, then riding my bike.  That sounds like a winning combo to me.