This Life

The most successful people I know are passionate about something,  helping others.   When you devote your life to helping others, regardless of how much return you get,  life tends to make a lot more sense.  

There are still a lot of things that don't make sense; hate, greed, war, etc.   But when a person invests time, energy and money into making the world a better place,  a sense of self worth is born. 

I was talking to a friend and we were discussing depression.  I mentioned that I deal with depression.  I have for a long time.  I remember back to the uber conservative Christian college that I graduated from.  They told me it was demons oppressing me.  I spent so many nights on my knees, "fighting"  asking God to fight the demons,  asking for forgiveness for whatever I did.  It didn't work.  Some would blame God for not helping me.  I blame the teachers for not helping me. 

15 yrs later, I have worked through all of the symptoms and have figured out the root of the issue.  Lack of nurturing and poor roll modeling are contributors. 

I don't have all of the answers, but I believe that I serve a power that is greater than me.  I have been given the options to look at myself, change and become  a better person.  The wife says that I have been successful. 

But guess what?  I still get depressed.  Knowing the triggers, I am now more aware of when and why.  The neighbor yelling at me and blaming me for everything brought back a flood of memories.  Being able to identify that, helps me work through the feelings and emotions and get my head on straight again.  One thing I have noticed though is that my depression is similar to a cold.  One day I'm sluggish and tired.  The next I'm down. And then, it takes a couple of days to feel back to normal.   Sunshine and fresh air definitely help, but in reality,  it just takes time. 

Why am I sharing such personal info?  Because I know a lot of you are going through something similar.  You don't even have to tell me, I can see it in your eye,  hear it in your voice. 

Life is tough and we have to stick together.  Draft off of each other. 

Happy Thanksgiving!