Heavy Heart

Man,  my heart is heavy this morning.  All day yesterday and looks like today.  When will the sadness end?  I know I gotta let time do it's thing, but good grief. 

I had a dream about Alex early Sunday morning.  We were at the park, he was being silly.....  good times. 

I got to spend the weekend with the kid.  Since it was rainy and cold, we didn't do a lot.  Went to the toy stored to buy some toys for Toys For Tots.  Toured Field and Stream,  wrapped gifts at REI.  Chill weekend.  I have to consciously peer through the cloud of sadness and realize how good I have it.  It is easy to lose sight of.  Although, none of what I have is mine,  it has been granted to me from my Creator. 

That helps me keep things in perspective.  I don't know why Alex and Milena are gone, but if I truly believe in the grand scheme, then I believe that there is or will be a purpose for their leaving us. 

Several interesting thoughts have come to mind through this. 

- Kids are angels who have come to earth to learn how to be human.  Totally unfounded other than my mind doing it's thing.  But,  what if it were true?  We better step up our game and fight the good fight!

-In general, people are only motivated through tragedy.  Floods, drought, pipelines, the presidential race etc.  People tend to only react when something negative impacts them.  Maybe if nothing negative ever happened,  then we would sit around being self absorbed, bon bon eating, lazy bones.  I don't know, but its something to think about.