Thursday, December 13, 2007


What in the world? Rhonda decided to make some toffee. Well, if it doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. Unfortunately she burned her first two batches. It tastes good for the first two seconds, the your mouth gets hit with an acidic burn flavor that would match a piece of charcoal. ( don't ask how I know how charcoal tastes). So, I say to myself," Self, this can't be too hard". After all, toffee is equal parts butter and sugar. Yugh. I don't like toffee anymore.
I pour in the sugar and butter, start the boiling process, and stir vigorously. First mistake and second mistake in one move. The buttery mass starts to boil then the sugar separate into a bubbly mass of , well I can't think of non disgusting words to describe it. After the allotted ten minutes I poured it. It looked kind of like barfed up Play-Do, or what I think it would look like if someone barfed it up!!

I tried another batch and the same thing happened. I checked on the Internet. One web-site said to add water, which I did. I put by bark batches back in the pot and added water. Hmm, it dissolved nicely. I started the boiling process again. I must have added too much water, it was taking a long time. When it finally boiled down to what I thought was the right mixture, I pour it in the cookie sheet and went to bed.

Get up, run into the kitchen like a kid on Christmas morning. Arrgh. It is still runny. Now I am saddened like the kid on Christmas morning who got a Barbie instead of a GI Joe. I scrape the mixture back into the pot and start the boil process again. It begins to thicken. Ooooohh, a bubbly thickening mass of buttery sugar. OK, I think it is time. So, I pour it. 30 minutes later it is not hardened. I'm that disappointed kid again.

Oh well, gotta go to work, so I can spend my money on more sugar and butter.

Lessons learned:
-Toffee is butter and sugar
-Don't stir it too fast
-Don't burn it
-Don't pour it too soon
-Be patient
- And last but not least, if your kid asks for a GI Joe, don't get him a Barbie!!!


Rhonda said...

I love you Stephen. Thanks for making me feel better.
I will pay you back for all the money spent on butter and sugar.

Jimbo said...

Dang Hippie! I may have peed my pants...

Rhonda - Next time you make soup, I better see an invite...