Thankful

 A lot going on in my little head right now.  Besides the fact that its that time of year when memories pop up and try to bring me down, the demons in my mind telling me that I'm bound to fail so why try.  I keep turning my focus to the positive.  Its not always easy.   I have so many friends in the same boat.  Trying to figure this life out, one step at a time. Why do I keep trying?

 I'll tell you what keeps me going.  Knowing that I am created for a purpose,  to love.   Knowing that a power greater than me is in control and has an ultimate plan: to restore creation to a pre- destruction mode.  I believe in a God who loves and provides for us.  I don't believe in the god that so many churches teach about,  the legalistic, fire and brimstone, you are going to hell if you screw up god.  I believe in a God who has created me to love, to care for the fatherless and widows.  to look out for my neighbors.

 That's what keeps me going.   How do I know that such a God exists?  That one is hard to explain, but the evidence shows me,  points me in that direction.  The stillness at the top of a mountain,  the peace inside on the side of a wind ravaged lake.  The good things that come my way without warning.  The trials, that seem out of control, but once I make it through, I realized I am stronger, a little wiser, and slowly but surely a little more patient.   

 I have what I need and a whole lot more.  Food, warmth, shelter, clothes.  Sure,  I have a truck that is falling apart right now.  And the thing is testing my faith on a daily basis.  Every time I turn the key and it cranks,  I whisper a quiet prayer of thanks. 

I had a great weekend, getting outside, feeling the wind in my face, the splash of water, the leaves crunching under my wheels,  futbol with the kid,  brunch on in a holler with a bunch of friends.

My life is good, and I can't take the credit for that.