Muddled

I'm not sure what to say today.  I had something to do, that I chewed on for way too long and I did it.  I confronted an individual,  and the outcome,  while disappointing, confirmed that what I was doing was right.  The result confirmed my observation and now it is out there, and as I have said before, I have no regrets.

Part of the issue was my problem.  By not being honest with myself and sweeping stuff under the rug.  Acting like everything was ok so I could have the approval I needed to feel good about myself.   After a while, that approval, that I had created, started to feel a little off.  Then it didn't feel like approval anymore.  I got tired of playing the good guy, catering to how I thought they wanted me to act.   So, I quit.  I am my own person and someone has an issue with that, then so be it.  I have found an inner peace, one that comes from my Creator, and I am pulling away from the trap of seeking man's approval.  

I am tired of acting like everything is ok when it is not.  That is a bold faced lie, and I hate lies.  

You can either take me how I am, not try to change me, not tell me what I am doing wrong and that your way is better, or you can leave me.

There is a difference in offering suggestions for improvement, and always feeling like you have the right answer.  The first I am open to.  The second....not.

Just some really tough stuff that I want to put out there. Maybe you are in a similar situation.  I hope that you can stand up and do the right thing.

I'm venting here, but as stated in previous posts.  This blog is to challenge you in your life.  To give a different, sometimes brutally honest perspective.   Maybe sometimes I approach things a little bit differently than traditional.  But I feel like that is a good thing. 

So, its out there.  And this will probably drag on for way too long.  The one thing I know is that I will learn a lot about myself through this situation and I look forward to that. 

Just like in cycling, in order to grow, I have to push my boundaries,  challenge myself, and step out of my comfort zone. 

Have a great day.